Romance

As a single girl, I pictured my future Valentine's Days with my special someone filled with romantic gestures, intimate dinners at fancy restaurants, and large bouquets of roses. Surely life with someone to love would be all romance, all the time. I would often find myself longing for those days, praying that God would bring the right guy into my life soon.

After what felt like an eternity (which I now see was a very short period of time), God gave me the desire of my heart by not only opening the door to do missions work in the UK but also introducing me to the man I was meant to marry during that fateful trip.

Our courtship was filled with as much romance that could be possible when you're more than 3,000 miles apart most of the time. Late-night Skype conversations, a cute stuffed animal we named Skype, and a lovely bouquet of Valentine's Day flowers were some of the highlights. What we lacked in face-to-face time was made up for by the romance of a whirlwind, long-distance relationship.

Then, we got married, and those dreams of romance didn't quite pan out the way I'd thought they would. That's not to say there wasn't any romance; the romance was present but in a different form from what I'd pictured. This is not to say that Dave is not a romantic husband. No, not at all. He still finds ways to surprise me and sweep me off my feet on a regular basis.

I first realized just how different my dreams were from my reality on Monday night, probably considered the most romantic evening of the entire year. Dave had made our dinner of chicken fried rice, and we'd sat down to watch a documentary on charter schools in Harlem. We sat comfortably together on our love seat as we watched the film. As the credits rolled, I realized just what romance looks like for me.

• Romance is making dinner for your wife because you want to give her a break from her daily task.
• Romance is finding things in common to enjoy together, even if that means you're watching a documentary about the education system in a city far away.
• Romance is feeling comfortable enough to sit in silence, without the need to fill the void with your voice.
• Romance is knowing that simply being with your spouse is the best Valentine's Day gift you could ever receive.

Our holiday may not have been romantic in the Hallmark sense, but it had the perfect amount of romance for me. I wouldn't trade the time spent with my husband for the largest bouquet of roses in the world.