Saturday, October 20, 2012

Yes, Michigan

I've grown up visiting Michigan many times in the fall thanks to having a mom who hails from the mitten state. Most of my fall in Michigan memories involve rain, clouds, and a chill in the air. But some of my memories include the excitement felt in the state when their two biggest college teams meet on a Saturday afternoon to play for the Paul Bunyan Trophy.

Today we found ourselves in the state for lunch with our Michigan relatives. (I may or may not have selected this date to coincide with one of my favorite sports rivalries.) People with Michigan and Michigan State apparel could be seen in the Panera we met at. My family teasingly trash-talked each other's favorite team, including giving my brother a hard time for allowing my nephew out of the house in State colors (he was, thank goodness, wearing his Michigan socks). The barista at Biggby, spotting my Michigan sweatshirt, asked if I thought we would win. "We better!" I replied.

Sure, there's the Cubs vs White Sox rivalry in the cross-town classic here in Chicago, but nothing beats the feel of college football match-ups. I don't know if I've ever discussed a Chicago team's status with a stranger. In Michigan, you suddenly find yourself a part of a big family of fellow fans, and you feel comfortable talking to anyone else wearing their support (and giving dirty looks to those cheering for the other team--just kidding, maybe).

Alas, we were already on our way home to Illinois by the time the game started, but we found it online via a Michigan radio station and listened to the last quarter. With only a few minutes to go and Michigan trailing by one point, the streaming stopped! We found out Michigan scored a field goal only by refreshing the scores page over and over again. Soon my parents' house was filled with the notes of "Hail to the Victors."

What a perfect ending to one of my favorite fall days!

Friday, October 19, 2012

Quiet

I was working alone in my office at work a few days ago when I realized just how quiet it was. At the moment, there were no coworkers talking or walking past. I had forgone my usual working soundtrack to better focus on the project at hand. It struck me that I must have a lot of noise in my life if I was suddenly noticing the quiet of my office.

Tonight Dave and I had Shark Tank on while Miss G was still awake. Dave had to rewind it multiple times to catch what had been said in the middle of Miss G's babbling. She filled our house with her shrieks and laughs and "stories" (what we call her "Ga-ga-ga's" and "Ha-ha-ha's") until it was time for bed. Then she filled the house with her cries until she finally quieted down and fell asleep 20 minutes after I'd first laid her down in her crib.

Having a baby in the house is certainly part of the reason why my life is so noisy, but there are other ways I invite noise into my daily routine. Most days begin with the radio on in the kitchen as I prepare my breakfast while everyone else is still asleep. Nearly every day ends with talk radio in the background because it helps me fall asleep. In between, I automatically hit the power button for my radio just as soon as I start the car. And there's often a TV show or movie on in the evenings after Miss G goes to bed.

In addition to physical noise in my life, I invite a lot of mental noise in, too. I flutter from Google Reader to Facebook to Twitter back to Facebook again, only to be inundated with new blog posts, status updates, and tweets. Frankly, 99.9% of what I read isn't essential; it is more of a hobby. But when does that hobby start taking up too much brain space and making too much noise?

I don't have a challenge to give myself, but I do wonder if life with a little less noise would be better. I know that this week, spending the hour between Miss G's bedtime and mine reading a book in the quiet rather than watching TV has helped me wind down more easily. I know that from past experience, I have felt more relaxed and in tune with what's around me when driving in the car without the radio on. No, I won't challenge myself to 30 Days of Quiet, but perhaps I'll be a bit more intentional about making time for it.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Sunday Reflections--October 14

I thought that this past weekend, I would spend Saturday evening at home while Dave was at church, then join him for the first service on Sunday morning. But wouldn't you know, my plans were changed when Dave asked me to pinch hit for some volunteers who couldn't lead small group in the kids' ministry. Because Dave works with the elementary-age kids, that meant I was assigned to lead second and third graders. If you know me, you know that I love working with preschoolers. Ever since I started volunteering in children's ministry, I've only worked with kindergartners and younger. Saturday night's task was, strange as it may seem, a bit intimidating for me. (I know--who's afraid of second and third graders?)

Although I was dreading it, I walked into the classroom and headed to a table full of boys and one girl playing with Legos. We started talking about school, and after one boy said he wished he could be finished with school already, we chatted about what they wanted to do when they grew up. Before we knew it, we were headed to large group, and then it was time for small group.

Because we had so many kids in the class (I think the count was 44) and only 3 small group leaders, my small group was actually quite large. We went through the questions, including one that really struck me: How does following God sometimes take you out of your comfort zone?

Immediately, I thought of where I was in that moment--teaching elementary-age children. I never would have chosen on my own to work with that age group, but I knew that God wanted me to. The result was an incredible time connecting with the kids over Legos and talking about standing up to bullies at school and encouraging girls that they were beautiful and that they don't need to worry about looking dumb. (As a new mom to a daughter, that last part really got me.)

Saturday evening definitely took me out of my comfort zone, but as I reflect on this past weekend at church, I learned the most from my time teaching those "scary" older kids.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Thirty-One

My thirty-first birthday began with my daughter crying in her crib at one in the morning. My tired, selfish self thought, Really, baby girl? After weeks of sleeping until 5 you decide to wake up early on your mama's birthday? My loving, knowing-all-too-well-these-days-are-numbered self thought, Oh, she just wants to wish her mama a happy birthday before anyone else. I focused on that positive thought as I reached down for her, picked her up, and took advantage of some extra snuggles. (She did give me a birthday gift by sleeping until 7 after that, so my selfish side had no reason to whine.)

Having a baby this year was the number-one reason why my thirty-first birthday felt so weird. Every other year since graduating from college and starting my career, I've tried to take a day off from work to celebrate the day by sleeping in, reading, and going out for a nice dinner with Dave. Last year, to celebrate my entrance into another decade, we splurged and stayed at a fancy hotel in Grand Rapids. This year, however, I didn't have the option of taking a break from my responsibilities. Trust me, I wouldn't want another quiet birthday if it meant not having Miss G around. But the day was a reminder of how different my life is now that I'm a mom.

Another reason this birthday felt different from the rest was because it offered me a time to reflect on the past year, and although a lot has happened since I turned thirty, I hadn't slowed down enough to actually think about all I've experienced in the last twelve months. Since I turned thirty, we bought a house, Dave lost his dad to cancer, we had a baby, we went through a period of uncertainty with Dave's employment, Dave's mom lived with us for two months, my job description changed to work-at-home mom/work-at-office mom, and we changed churches. Phew! All year, people would compliment me on how well I was taking things, but it wasn't until my birthday that I realize I'd really been stuffing most of the emotions that came with all of those events. By the end of the day, I was just plain tired after contemplating everything.

Last year, my hope was that I would finally feel like an adult, and I'd say that I certainly accomplished that. This year, however, is the year to rebuild. Our lives were thrown into a tailspin by both good and bad things, so now I hope to get back on track, find out who I am now that my titles include "Mama," and continue living this crazy life. I know I won't get my act together right away, and I know it will never be perfect, but I hope I'll have a year that I can look back on and be proud of, one where I can say, "God was clearly working on me and changing me to be a better follower of him."